WASHINGTON—In an attempt to raise morale by providing a fun yet challenging activity for employees of the U.S. DOGE Service, Elon Musk announced Monday a new office-wide contest to guess how many sperm were contained inside a cup placed on the front desk of the group’s headquarters. “Everyone take a good look, and no cheating! There might be more than you think! said Musk, speaking to his team at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, where he kicked off the contest by holding the cup of sperm high in the air so everyone could get a good look before beginning to formulate their guesses. It’ll be right here in the reception area so you can see it every day when you come in.
You can pick up the cup and feel the weight of it, but no one is allowed to peer inside and count them with a microscope I know it’s tempting, but we don’t want to ruin the fun. Just try your best to guess how many are swimming around in there, and at the end of the month, the winner will get a special prize. Won’t that be fun? According to reports, Musk went on to strongly hint that the winning employee would be rewarded with a second cup of his sperm.
By TheOnion America’s Finest News Source
