Hello guys, this week is about women pleasure,
Eating out, licking out, cunnilingus, oral sex: whatever you prefer to call it, eating pussy f*cking rocks. In fact, oral sex is widely known as the most reliable way to give a person with a vulva the big O. Studies consistently show that the vast majority of vulva-owners require clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm, and oral sex puts the clit front and center. This is just science, friends.
The issue? So many people don’t know what the heck they are doing down there. Given the state of sex-ed in America, we’re assuming you didn’t hear the word “clitoris” in school. Then there’s the fact that the clit often gets ignored in mainstream penetration-focused pornography. So if you’re not quite sure how to eat pussy, it’s not entirely your fault. How could you possibly know how to do something you’ve never seen done properly before?
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve your oral sex technique. From incorporating toys, to trying different positions, to using your tongue in unique ways, we have all the expert-approved information you need to up your game. These are the best oral sex tips for the next time you’re going down on your partner.
Don’t go straight for the clit.
Instead of diving head-first into someone’s pussy like an Olympic swimmer, opt for a seductive warm up. Start with neck kisses, move down to their belly, inner thighs, and all around the vulva. Run your tongue around their nipples. You can even bring in a feather tickler to run all over their body and up and down the labia. We love this simple one from LoveHoney.
The anticipation can really help bring you both into your bodies and feel grounded in this experience you’re sharing together. No matter how casual a pussy eating encounter is, it deserves reverence and respect.
Keep it light to start.
Lighter is better when you start giving oral. The clitoral glans are hella sensitive, so be mindful of going too hard. Clitorises and vulvas usually require
different degrees of firmness when it comes to touching and licking.
“Good oral sex shouldn’t look like a hungry pupper eating their bowl of kibble, ya hear?”
If you’re someone who masturbates with a firm grip on their penis, do not employ this same technique when giving oral sex. Good oral sex shouldn’t look like a hungry pupper eating their bowl of kibble, ya hear? You want to gently tease their clit lightly so it feels like they’ve stepped off a magical cloud into a hot Icelandic spring.
Go in too hard and fast, and you may feel her flinch or yelp, so go easy! When you start lighter, you can build up the pressure as her arousal builds, but if in doubt, always go lighter first,” Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.
Use your flat tongue and head for added pressure.
Kenneth Play, an international educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series, a 70+ video series for helping people become better lovers, suggests “using the flat of your tongue first, and more your head instead of your tongue. This creates a larger surface space, which feels better initially to most people.” The key is to warm up the entire vulva area before going for the glans clitoris.
tay down there as long as it takes.
One of the main things that stops women and vulva-owners from having orgasms during oral is the fear that they’re “taking too long” or being “selfish.” This means they’re going to need a lot of encouragement from you.
“Let [them] know that you’ll be there for as long as it takes, that this is just about [their] pleasure, and there is no pressure to come,” Rowett says. “That in itself can be enough to help a woman [or clit-owners] climax, paradoxically, as one thing that most women find a big mood killer is pressure from her partner to come.”
Ask your partner what they want.
Showing interest in what brings your partner pleasure is a huge turn-on. Every person’s body is different, and people enjoy being stimulated in a variety of ways. Ask your partner what they want you to do to them. If they’re not sure, try touching them in different ways and encourage them to tell you what feels good.
It definitely makes for some sparkling dirty talk. The thing is, you’re not a mind-reader. Ask and then do exactly what they says. Following instructions shows you’re actively listening.
Use your fingers and get some toys.
Mouths are amazing, but they don’t need to be the only tool in your kit. Vibrators are a way to up the ante on the whole experience. Try running your tongue around the clitoris while you insert the toy into the vagina, if your partner enjoys penetration. You can also use a vibrator to stimulate the anal opening and perineum while you use your tongue on the clitoris.
If you’ve never used a vibrator on someone before, ask them to show you how they like to use it on themselves. This is like a masterclass in how they like to come.
Use just the tip.
If your partner likes more targeted, pinpointed pleasure, Play suggests getting the tip of the tongue in your oral game. “The tip of the tongue can apply more targeted pressure and movement, especially once a vulva-owner gets more aroused,” he says. “Remember to pay attention to the tactile sensations of your tongue to make sure you’re actually licking the clit and not just all over the place. This is a more common problem than you’d realize.”
Honestly, mindfulness during oral sex is probably the best tip you could ever receive. Pay attention to where your tongue ACTUALLY is on your partner’s body. And if you’re not sure if it’s working? ASK. Here are some examples of how to solicit oral sex feedback:
“Do you like when I touch you here?”
“Do you like when I do X with my tongue?”
“Would it be OK to put my fingers inside you?”
“Are you having a good time?”
Suck to finish.
Have you heard of the Womanizer or Satisfyer? These clitoral suction toys use a combination of suction and air to circle the clitoris and simulate oral sex. They are wildly popular—which is why it might be a good idea to mimic the sensation with your own mouth.
To use your mouth, “wrap your lips around the clit and suck on it, to form a good vacuum seal, and then lick the clit at the same time while you suck,” Play says. “This takes some practice to be able to pull off for a continuous amount of time, but is worth it. It’s a good finishing move!”
And if you want to bring in a sucking sex toy while you use your hands or tongue for a little penetration, more power to you.
Listen to their physical and verbal responses.
Pay attention to both verbal and physical cues. The things we do, rather than say, can be helpful guides to what someone is liking (or not liking). If your partner is pushing their vulva into your face and moaning, you can be pretty sure what you’re doing is working. If they’re pulling away or are lying there, dead silent, try something else. And once again, there is nothing unsexy about asking someone if what you’re doing feels good.
Enjoy yourself!
Cunnilingus is about your partner’s pleasure first, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. There is nothing hotter than someone who absolutely loves eating pussy. “In the same way that it’s so much hotter when you can tell that your partner actually enjoys giving a blowjob,” Rowett points out, “when you show that you enjoy it and it is genuine, the technique doesn’t matter as much.
We asked real people for tips on how to eat pussy.
To give you even more real-ass tips, I decided to ask a bunch of my internet friends who love nothing more than answering all of my intense questions about eating boxes. Keep in mind that all clit-owners enjoy different things, so be sure to communicate with your partner to ensure that they’re having the best experience possible.
Without further ado, here are a few juicy morsels of advice on grade-A pussy-eating.
“Do what I call The Zipper technique: Lick from the slit of the vaginal opening up to the clit and then all the way back down. Like you’re zipping up a zipper.” —Jane, 30
“I was once with a guy who, no joke, gnawed on my clit. Like as if he were a human-cheese grater. Never ever do this!” —Gabby, 31
“Don’t forget the vagina! While doing circles on my clit, I love inserting a G-spot wand, too. Then tilt it up to hit the G-spot.” —Shae, 30
“While using a vibrator on the clit, put your forefinger into my anus and the thumb into the vagina. If anal penetration is not your thing, you can just rub around it. It feels f*cking incredible.” —Grace, 26
“When someone is licking my clit the way I like, I usually grab their head and grind my hips into their face for even more pressure. I guess that’s not a tip so much as a sign that I’m really liking what you’re doing down there.” —Brit, 27
“I’ve never liked warming lubes, but popping an ice cube into the vagina before licking the clit is BONKERS.” —Nicki, 37
“Pop a butt plug into her ass before you go down on her. Game-changer.” —Lucy, 29
“Stay consistent. I always have people licking my clit, or labia or whatever and they keep moving around. This doesn’t give me enough time to enjoy anything. If something is working, keep doing it.” —Rosie, 23
thank you GIGI ENGLE
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.
